Many people associate self-love with self-help books and tree-hugging hippies. Psychology studies have shown that self-love is key to mental well-being and keeping anxiety and depression at bay. We will look below at some things you can do to cultivate this core feeling.
Sometimes it cannot be easy to cultivate feelings of self-love.
You might be asking, “Why is self-love so important?” Self-love can seem like a luxury rather than a necessity for many people. Or a new-age fad that is too time-consuming.
Ironically, however, self-care and compassion might be most needed by those who work too hard and constantly strive for perfection.
When we are being harsh on ourselves, we usually want to succeed and do everything right. This can lead to many self-criticisms, and that inner voice telling us how we could have done things better is a sign of perfectionism.
Studies show that perfectionists are more likely to have developmental and physical illnesses. Self-compassion may help us free ourselves from its grasp. Perfectionism and self-compassion are therefore inextricably connected.
This article will discuss how to reduce stress and increase joy. It is a way to live a happier, fulfilled life.
Perfectionism and its ills
We, Westerners, have been taught that perfectionism is good quality. Perfectionism leads to perfection, which is why we can boast about our personality traits during job interviews.
Perfectionism can be bad for you. Not only “not ideal” and “harmful when excess,” but actively harmful. Like cigarettes or obesity.
A shorter lifespan, irritable bowel syndrome, fibromyalgia, eating disorders, heart disease or cancer is also harder for perfectionists, with this trait making survivors — as well as the general population — more prone to
Moving away from perfection
What can we do to stop perfectionism? Recognize that perfectionism is bad for your self-esteem and happiness. You deserve better.
In other words, happiness can be something you have and not something you have to earn. The resolution of the United Nations recognizes that happiness is an essential human goal.
It would be best to resist the temptation of beating yourself up for beating yourself. undefined
This inner bully is something you have been cultivating for years. It causes you to develop an unconscious tendency to criticize others for minor things, no matter how ridiculous.
Perfectionists are not afraid to fail to meet deadlines or drop a teaspoon on the ground. It is common for perfectionists to criticize themselves for making mistakes.
You can also learn self-compassion. It might seem like self-love is something you either have or don’t have. However, psychologists say that it is something that you can learn.
In specialized literature, self-compassion and love are often used interchangeably. Research has shown that self-compassion increases resilience in the face of adversity. This helps people recover faster from trauma and separation. It helps us cope better with failure and embarrassment.
What is self-compassion? Professor Neff, Sbarra, and colleagues define Trusted Source self-compassion as a construct that includes three components.
- Self-kindness (i.e. treating oneself with understanding, forgiveness)
- Recognition of one’s role in the shared humanity (i.e. acknowledgment of people’s imperfections and that individual experiences are part of the greater human experience),
- And mindfulness (i.e. emotional stability, avoidance of overidentification with painful emotions).
Profs. Wrote that self-kindness means being kind and understanding when you fail, suffer or feel insufficient. It is not about being judgmental of yourself. Neff and Germer.
It’s easier said than done. It might seem so. However, researchers who spent a lot of time studying and defining the feeling have developed some useful tips to enhance it.