Perhaps you believe that your friends are more qualified, talented, intelligent, attractive, or experienced than you, and that is why they are so confident…
However, it is not always because someone is smarter, smarter, or more confident than you. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Humans are made up of both good and bad things. If someone isn’t confident, they will spend most of their time focusing only on what they don’t do well and beating themselves up about it.
However, when someone is confident, they tend not to focus on their shortcomings or be critical of themselves. Instead, they encourage themselves to succeed by talking to themselves positively and encouragingly, rather than being harshly critical.
Let me clarify that I don’t mean being proud or feeling the need to brag about how great you are. This quiet inner confidence allows you to trust your abilities and not be constantly doubting them.
To cultivate self-compassion, the first step is to pay attention to your thoughts and how you talk to yourself throughout the day. It can be helpful to speak to yourself in the same way you would to a friend. It can be very helpful to catch and gently shift negative self-talk and improve your confidence.
You can also be negatively affected by other factors. Self-compassion is a good option. These are:
BASING YOUR SELF-ESTEEM UPON THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS
Many people depend on others for validation and confidence. They will feel more attractive if others compliment their appearance. Or they will feel they have done a good job if someone praises it. To feel happy about their lives and themselves, they rely heavily on the opinions and judgments of others. This makes your self-worth fragile if you base it on other people’s opinions. This means you can feel awful about yourself if everyone around you is feeling down. This means you’re leaving your feelings about yourself in the hands and control of others. It is much more beneficial than relying on others to validate you. You can give yourself validation by treating yourself with compassion.
You can be kind to yourself by celebrating, valuing, and appreciating your work. You don’t need to wait for others to praise you about your appearance to feel better.
SPENDING A LOT of TIME COMPARING YOURSELF TO THE OTHERS
People often feel awful about themselves when they compare themselves to others. This is not fair because they compare the “best version” of another person (the one they want to show the world) with the “worst version of themselves (since only they will be able to see all their faults and insecurities). People also tend to make social comparisons that go upward. They will compare themselves with people they consider “better” than they are, but not with those who aren’t as good. They also feel worse about themselves. When someone compares themselves to others, a lot of their narrative is harsh and critical. They beat themselves up and are critical of themselves for not being “good enough”.
Nurturing a more compassionate and kinder inner voice can change that narrative. If someone is kind to themselves, they can be a source of inspiration and positive encouragement and not a reason to beat themselves up or feel bad. Even better, when people are kind to themselves, it is less important or relevant than what others do. They are focused on their success.
DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO CHANGE IT?
Social creatures are drawn to being part of a group. A constant need to conform to others can lead to a decrease in confidence and mental health. We will never feel “good enough” if we believe we don’t deserve to be loved and accepted for who we are. Talking to yourself with kindness and compassion is key to allowing yourself to be who you are. Instead of dwelling on the fact that you don’t look like others, celebrate what makes you unique.